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August 9, 2010 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

That’s so gay

Ever get the feeling you’re being judged? YOU ARE. Trust me, I work in a cafe and I have an opinion about every single one of you…. but I won’t remember you. Don’t worry, I’m talking about you, not to you, it totally doesn’t affect anything.

Soooooo, the other day I was working and I had some customers (no duh!), they were possibly my least favourite kind of people: hetero-normative homosexuals. You know the ones, one who is so obviously gay but tries his hardest to be just like everyone else, yet he continues to dress far too immaculately and talk fancy. But he is just like you, he wants to get married, just like you, and settle down just like you and be “normal” just like you, but I just can’t hear him saying that through his mouth full of dick, which is blatantly a contradiction to societal norms.

Oh sure, it’s great to be able to do what you want and live the life you want, but please don’t go around being all like “I’m not like those other fags” cos it’s a bit disrespectful to your ancestors. Not ancestors in the blood sense, but people that went before you fighting for rights—homosexuality is a minority and it used to be illegal. In fact, it’s still illegal in some countries and I bet LGBT activists there would be pretty pissed that you don’t want to be so gay or turning your nose at my disgusting flamboyancy.

Flamboyancy! Like a pride parade, I have seen an argument lately about whether a pride parade does more harm than good. I can see how people parading around topless and in leather chaps might have bad opinions formed about them, but some subgroups of minorities need a lot more understanding. And pride parades aren’t really about showing people how we fit in, it’s about standing out and celebrating diversity.

To wrap it up, LGBT history is not the history of everyone else, so our present isn’t the same as everyone else’s, we can fight for our rights but we certainly don’t have to shove ourselves into that dame heterosexual, patriarchal society to deserve them, that would kinda defeat the purpose.

P.S. I would like to point out that I am not opposed to those “straight-acting” type homos. I’m all about people being themselves, but sometimes people don’t do that and I cry a little on the inside.


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  1. Stephenphobe says:

    Are you kidding me? Seriously?

    Your hatred and ignorance towards members of your own community is tantamount homophobia.

    Get a grip.

  2. Stephen Jackson says:

    Are they members of the community though? If they’re people who avoid the community then they aren’t members of it. Part of the same minority sure. The people that I’m talking about possibly aren’t learned about the community.

    I never said nothing about hate neither.

    Further debate here

  3. Stephen Jackson says:

    Probs should’ve ended this column with “FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!”

  4. Hank Scorpio says:

    So, in order to be a part of “the community” (I assume you mean Queer Community), it’s not enough that one embraces and accept’s one’s sexuality and performs it in a way that is meaningful to them, they need to adhere to a bunch of social constructs and perform correctly, otherwise wear the scarlett letter of being a self-hating fag?

    Are you really endorsing this completely fucking stupid idea?

  5. Hank Scorpio says:

    “I’m all about people being themselves, but sometimes people don’t do that and I cry a little on the inside”

    All this ascertained by observing people you serve behind the counter of a cafe?

    The prevalence of self-denial is one certainly highlighted by homosexuality, yes, but it exists everywhere else. I reject wholeheartedly the idea that certain behaviours / ways of dressing / things people categorise as “heteronormative” are bad, unless they cause harm to anyone else.

    Stephen, this “with us, or against us” mentality is exactly the sort of thing a column like this should be breaking apart, not reinforcing.

  6. Stephenphobe says:

    “I never said nothing about hate neither.”

    If it walks like a duck…

  7. smackdown says:

    Probs should’ve ended this column with “FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!”

    probs should’ve ended this column with an apology

    ahahaha owned

  8. Stephen Jackson says:

    Did I make assumptions about people I don’t know? Yes
    Did I make some terrible generalisations that were stereotypical and possibly harming? Yes
    Should I have done either of those things? No.
    In my mind the customers were removed from what I was talking about, this should definately have been done when writing.

    @Hank, to be a part of a community one should participate in said community. Even if it’s having the friends or knowing what’s going on in it and I think it would be fair to say there are some people who might be gay/queer don’t do that. I’m not asking that they conform to any kind of constructs or perform in a certain way, I feel I would be out of the circle if this was the case.

    I maintain that I did not write this as a hateful piece, though I may have been venting.

    I will admit, I didn’t present my opinion very well in this piece and that possibly my opinion may not be well formed.
    However I do appreciate that it has people talking and thinking so on and so on.

  9. Hank Scorpio says:

    We could argue the semantics of “my least favourite kind of people: hetero-normative homosexuals” ad infinitum. But what I find interesting is your belief in a correct way of being queer, a large part involves membership in”the community” (which you haven’t even begun to examine, let alone define).

  10. Stephen Jackson says:

    I have no belief in a correct way of being queer, I never mentioned such things.
    But I suppose I am talking about being Queer culturally as opposed to Queer sexuality, like the difference between deaf and Deaf or being from Māori descent and getting into Te Ao Māori. And I feel that if people do find themselves with an alternative sexuality they should embrace the culture in some way and the easiest place to learn about/find such culture would be within the community, yes?

    We both agree that internalized homophobia is bad and that’s what I was talking about in this column but perhaps I didn’t present it in the best way possible

  11. Secret Squirrel. ^_^. says:

    “… it’s about standing out and celebrating diversity” … keyword = DIVERSITY. Homosexuality is sexual orientation, it doesn’t define who a person is. Hetero-normative homosexuals are guys/girls who just happen to be attracted to the same sex… that doesn’t mean they have to change their whole identity to fit into the “gay box” in any particular way… it’s a big box of gayness… stop stereotyping and make some room.

  12. Ophelia Glitterkittens says:

    So perhaps there are parts of this article wasn’t didn’t deliver it’s argument that well, but instead of labeling this as “tantamount homophobia”, but there’s a point to it .

    There is of course much diversity in the queer community, including those who are not campy or flamboyant. Indeed nobody should feel they need to act a certain way because of their sexuality

    But there are those who do stick their noses up at the outrageous and flamboyant queers, poke fun of drag queens and most poignantly, those who are less discriminated who leave behind more isolated members of the queer community. Judging by some of the rants I’ve heard, transphobia within the queer community is a particular concern.

    Agreed, judging two strangers in a cafe does not warrant such an article, but heteronormativity, transphobia, and simply being able to be yourself without getting shit from queers and non-queers alike is a necessary discussion.

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