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September 6, 2010 | by  | in Theatre | [ssba]


This week at BATS theatre a play by the name of DOORS. WALLS. AND ALSO SILENCE. is being performed. It’s supposed to be quite good. To find out more we sent Salient contributor Dther Uean to interview the writer/director of the play Uther Dean.

DU: Play?

UD: Yes?

DU: You play?

UD: Me play?

DU: Yes. About?

UD: Life and stuff, I guess. We devised it then I wrote it so basically its about the neuroses of about 9 local theatre makers. It also has jokes and swearing and fighting and a man pretending to be a cat.

DU: Long?

UD: 90 minutes or so. But we’ve been working on it for about five months so yeah, long for some.

DU: Boring?

UD: No. It even has a twist and everything.

DU: Twist?

UD: You’ll have to wait and see.

DU: Story?

UD: Well, basically, it’s about these two girls who live together, Emma and Lydia. They don’t really get on. Then, suddenly, a liquid that seems awfully like blood starts seeping through their walls which starts them both on thrilling and exciting voyages of discovery.

DU: Lesbians?

UD: No.

DU: Why not?

UD: Because no.

DU: What it look like?

: It looks like a play. With a set and lights and stuff and projections. It’s kinda like from the future. We have these six doors that we build all the scenery out of. Things like elevators and baths. It’s pretty cool.

: Why?

UD: Why what?

DU: Why go?

UD: Why should you go? Why? Well, you should come because for $18 ($13 concession) you get 90 minutes of theatre. Good theatre. Theatre with people being punched and people swearing and making phone calls and talking about Karori and sitting upside down and waving their arms to the one decent song on Editors’ latest album and Ju who designs Salient designed the graphics so you should come for those, they’re pretty cool. It is has a bit where someone kicks down a door and someone tells someone a story which is really funny and someone eats Weetbix. It has everything you could possibly want.

DU: Kay.

UD: Thanks.

DU: Where?

UD: It’s at BATS theatre, which is number 1 Kent Terrace. It is on from the 2nd to the 11th of September (with no performances on Sunday or Monday) at 6.30pm. Tickets are $18 or $13 and you book them by calling or calling (04) 802 4175.


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Comments (10)

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  1. Valentine and Proteus says:

    While perhaps it is supposed to be amusing that you’ve interviewed yourself… it’s also a little sad. Spring for some more writers, Salient.

  2. Bhristopher Cutler says:

    It is amusing if you just lighten up. Don’t get sad about whimsy. That is like getting happy about banging your toe on the door.

  3. Uther Dean says:

    Hi Anonymous ‘Two Gentlemen of Verona’ reference,

    You’re free to your own opinion and I am not posting here to rebut it or to call you wrong or whatever but I just want to put forward my angle.

    First, the reason I got Dther to interview me for this article (and not, y’know, a real person) was because, well, I am the theatre writer for Salient. Getting someone else to write a preview of the show would make it look like we were pretended that this was anything other profound corruption. By using Uean as the interviewer, we were acknowledging without apologising the self-indulgent nature of the piece.

    Second, if you want more people to write for Salient then WRITE FOR SALIENT.


    Uther Dean

  4. smackdown says:

    salient refused to publish my 5000 word guide to the beatles three years running

    its harder to get in than you think :-(

  5. Meow says:

    Dther Uean IS real!! My best fwend.

  6. Mr Editor says:

    Mr Smackdown,
    Would love to talk to you about your guide for my high-quality (IMHO) bimonthly production, Beating Off for the Beatles. We only publish previously un-published works, so here’s hoping other magazines have been as blind to your talents as Salient!
    Gimme a bell,
    Mr Editor.

  7. smackdown says:

    no sorry im saving it for my friends not strangers like u

  8. James beavis says:

    smackdown do you think you could edit it down to 300 words?

  9. smackdown says:

    heres the beginning tell me if u think its any good:

    the beatles by smackdown

    the beatles are my fav band. why would you listen to any other band??? listening to snore bands is a yawn why not give the beatles a try. the beatles were from liverpool and that’s cool fool. ringo was a laugh and george was off the chain. from what I hear john lennon had a big brain. paul was never down, clown, turn that frown upside down.

    the beatles live in a yellow submarine its true the song says so. the beatles have never lied about anything. everybody wants to be like the beatles, even the foo fighters.


  10. James Beavis says:

    I would like to offer you one million dollars to put this as the feature in our final issue for the year

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