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March 24, 2011 | by  | in Online Only | [ssba]

Young Mama – Strength

Sorry all, I have not been in the mood to dispense advice lately. One of the strange things about this world is often we aren’t as good as the advice we give.

Strength is not an easy thing to find. The world will only kick you when you’re down, but people will only kick you when you’re strong. Pity those people, and don’t feel guilty for feeling weak when you’re at your weakest.

Sad people do not ask to be sad. Depressed people do not need someone to tell them they need to cheer up. You keep telling people this, so stop fishing for it. Sometimes, we all need another human being to look you in the eyes and tell you they feel bad for your situation- that your feelings are legitimate. But why, out of all of the ups and downs in your life, should you focus on the bad of every situation anyway? Why do we have such a vehement reaction to the words “cheer up,” when we spend our time trying to pull sympathy out of our friends?

Our landlords are reneging on the previous agreement and kicking us out to sell the house. I am broke. I had to smash a window to get into the house last night, rendering myself more broke. But damn, it was great to smash one of my landlord’s windows. If anyone asks how I am, I will begin with the great feeling given by throwing a brick through a window co-owned by myself and a landlord who I would like to hurt. Never smashed a window before. Glad to tick it off the ol’ bucket list.

What is strength, really? When a person is ‘strong,’ what do they have that lesser humans have? They have the ability to keep on living.

Strength is turning up at the same lecture as the girl who just rejected you and feeling miserable the entire hour. But damn, will it feel good to make that girl think asking her out meant nothing to you, that you are the type of person who is open and caring enough to want to get to know her, while she couldn’t see beyond her immediate reaction to want to connect with another human being. (She probably rejected real human contact for facebook. And you feel bad for yourself?) Strength, to others, is seeing you go on although you feel unable to. Strength, to you, is the payoff, the elation you feel when you realise you made it through some tough times and stuck to your guns. Strength is feeling like a confused, quivering mess when people pat you on the back for your strength. The easiest thing to do when you want to give up, is to keep on going- you’re doing it already.

Actively try to find things that will take your mind off the situation. If all else fails, avoid repetitive actions such as checking email or playing simple computer games like solitaire/minesweeper, and don’t walk the streets waiting for a miracle chance meeting to change your life. Find odd things to google on the internet—toilet paper roll art is a good start. And be strong. You don’t have to feel strong, but be strong.


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  1. Jane says:

    I enjoyed this advice. Particularly the odd part. I googled it…Too much time? Never.

  2. The Don says:

    Why are you dispensing so much advice when your life is in a mess? Get yourself in a program.

  3. Jhordanny says:

    What a nice little thing i just found here to read after being rejected last night and it seems the crappy feeling has gone just a little beyond one hour, glad to know not to go out and expect a miracle cause thats what i was just about to do lol. I was fine before her, sure i can continue to be so. gotta go now, got odd things to google up!! hmm this thing underlines google in red how odd is that?

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