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February 27, 2012 | by  | in Features | [ssba]

Campus Survival Guide: Kelburn State of Mind

To acquaint our new students with Kelburn, Victoria University’s largest campus, Salient released veteran correspondent Doc Watson to produce your survival guide to Kelburn Campus.

Ah, O Week. That time of the year the new students of Victoria University emerge from the slums of high school life bright-eyed, bushy tailed and ready to take university by the grapefruit and squeeze it for all it’s worth. Welcome to Kelburn, and if you are a first year and reading this magazine, it’s probably where you are right now. If not, haul ass up that mountain of a hill and take a look around. In a nutshell, Kelburn is the largest campus in Victoria University and home to most of the first year students as well as a fair number of students from other years and faculties. Because of the sheer number of people on campus, all of the facilities are pretty sweet. To make life easier though, here is a rough and ready guide to get you off on the right foot.

To open, I cannot stress enough how almighty and awesome the Library in Kelburn is. It is the alpha and the omega for study resources and areas. Take some time to get acquainted with the layout too, because it uses a catalogue system that is completely different from what you may have encountered before. If you are a media student, the top floor is a god-send from on high but demand for resources are stupidly high. If you’re looking to hire something out for an assignment, it is on a strict first-come-best-dressed policy.

If you’re after a no-bull solution to an early morning “screw-everything-and- sleep” lecture, a Mother and a pie from Ilot’s Café is objective number one. Coffee addicts head over to vicbooks
for their drug top-ups and the Hunter Lounge has a good bar setting for a wind down to a good/bad/dreadful day. One pro-tip I can recommend: make use of the vending machines all over the campus. Some of their products are miles cheaper than the store-bought variety.

Wind down areas. Trust me, there are enough hidey holes in Kelburn to make the Viet Cong look like hide-and-seek players. If you want somewhere to chill out, I can recommend the roof area of the Kirk building, the grass area overlooking the Mount Cemetery, the Overbridge or even the Hunter Lounge. But regardless of where you go, the atmosphere at Kelburn is calm enough to sit down and chill wherever you are on campus. I personally enjoy the walk from Fairlie Terrace—the view is fantastic.

And I know it will sound a bit daft to warn you not to head into specific places, but this is a “survival guide” after all. Milk And Honey is off-limits to undergraduates, unless you want to get sacrificed to some unknown faculty god. I would also advise steering clear of Wishbone unless you have special dietary requirements or are worth more than Brad Pitt’s sex tape. And steer clear of the second level of Cotton where the maths/science post- grad work resides. If you look at one of their whiteboards too early, their level of mathematics will turn your brain to chowder.

But fuck where you shouldn’t go. Just get out there and explore. It’s all well and good having someone tell you where to go and what to do but at the end of the day, you’ve gotten to the point in your life where you can actually wander around and do whatever you want to do. Kelburn has the sense of scale that none of the other campuses have and you would be shooting yourself in the foot if you restricted yourself to the same few classrooms every week.

So get out there, you sprightly young soul, you. Happy hunting.


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