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April 23, 2012 | by  | in News | [ssba]

News on the March

  • ☛  In a salacious lapse of secrecy, US Secret Service agents are caught soliciting the service of Columbian prostitutes as President Obama attends the Summitof Americas. As three agents are forced to resign in shame, it seems that–while willing to take a bullet for the President– the secret service is not willing to pay for a little bit of secret service.
  • ☛  Not content with only being Earth’s youngest state, South Sudan is making moves to become its cheekiest after capturing (northern) Sudan’s most prized national treasure: the Heglig oil fields. Naturally, Sudan is pissed, vowing to recapture the national pride and obliterate their younger sibling.
  • ☛  The fragile ceasefire in Syria is on the verge of collapse as both government and opposition forces refuse to respect the UN imposed obligations. As is common with little power-hungry old men, President Bashar al-Assad is still claiming that its all the dissents’ fault, not his.
  • ☛  India successfully launches a long-range ballistic missile, capable of carrying nuclear warheads, successfully joining the elitist fuck-off-I-have-nukes club, which includes other arrogant and similarly deranged global powers. Meanwhile in North Korea…
  • ☛  In spite of recently installed non-slip tiles, a 7-year-old Blenheim boy slips over at the local aquatic centre, bumping his little wee head. Pool staff respond authoritatively though, placing a highly- visible, bright yellow sign next to the pool to kindly warn patrons of the latent watery hazard.

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Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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