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April 30, 2012 | by  | in News | [ssba]

News on the March

  • The world this week.

    ☛  Notorious hound and French President Nicolas Sarkozy is set to lose office to the pleasant socialist with the nice scarf, Francois Hollande, after the first round of Presidential elections. Far-right candidate, Marine Le Pen, does surprisingly well for a francophone xenophobe.

  • ☛  Cows across the America unite in solemn brotherhood as some of their fellow bovines are stricken with the dreaded mad cow disease. Foreign markets will put up with none of the US’ beef.
  • ☛  Further scandal erupts as Chinese politician Bo Xilai is revealed to
    have run wire-tapping operations
    that extended as far as the President. Rupert Murdoch is reportedly jealous, and promises to reclaim his title as Earth’s most proficient eaves-dropper.
  • ☛  Meanwhile in the United Kingdom, old Rupert Murdoch’s empire crumbles further as he is interrogated as part of the ongoing New of the World scandal. In spite of his famed omniscience, it seems kindly Mr. Murdoch had absolutely no idea about the sordid journalistic tactics going on right beneath his nose.
  • ☛  Planet Earth’s glaciers are out of balance, committed to losing forty per cent of their volume–even if the climate ceases to warm. In response, news sources worldwide relegate the findings to the back pages.
  • ☛  A recent influx of newcomers to Geraldine leads to the creation
    of a coffee group to assist with assimilation. While local residents agree that its nice, it remains unclear whether it will be a success, with some boldly suggesting the gold coin koha is too hefty of a disincentive.

About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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