You said I was “third world”

When I couldn’t spell right

And you shipped me your left-over mutton flaps

To say “congrats on your plight!”

You said I was different

And then asked me what the difference was

You proceeded to pity me when I shrugged, “just because…”

You said I was “third world”

Because I hardly contributed to discussions

You disapproved of my quiet manner

And warned me of its repercussions

In case you pity me

For having nothing to say

The truth is I’m preoccupied being grateful for my country’s free parking

And this little thing we have called “equal pay”

You said I was “third world”

When you stamped my passport

Just before you asked,

“What’s your favourite sport?”

You keep tabs on me because I’m not a citizen

Forget all that, let’s criticize Trump

World’s racing down a freeway and he’s a speed bump

You got so loud last November

And amidst your debating, failed to remember

How you shut-down our ’80s Lesā noise of “more brown New Zealanders coming soon”

Thanks for the student visa

Robert Muldoon.