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March 26, 2018 | by  | in *News* News | [ssba]

Student Disappointed After Making it Through Dark Souls-esque Gauntlet to Get to the Siglo Balcony

A 19 year old Commerce student is reportedly extremely disappointed to not find any holy grails on the balcony of Siglo despite braving the arduous journey to get outside.

The Courtenay Place bar combines the nightclub experience with a series of physical and mental trials designed to cull the unworthy from entering the promised kingdom; patrons of the bar are required to brave their way past three bouncers to reach the balcony, each presenting a unique test of will.

Upon presenting I.D., those wishing to face the gauntlet are asked these questions three: How many drinks have you had tonight? What’s your star sign? There is a house, one enters it blind and comes out seeing; what is it?

Those who passed this gatekeeper were able to make it into the downstairs portion of the bar, and the remaining seekers of Siglo are left to wander the wasteland of Courtenay Place.
B-com student Madeline Adams told Salient that, despite making it past the Siglo gatekeepers, she failed to find any hidden treasures on the balcony other than the ability to smoke a cig above ground level.

“It’s just a bit fucked you know, you make it through a series of trials of the will, you know like in Indiana Jones. I passed all the challenges and all you get is some shit chat with some industrial design student called Josh while you smoke a club red.”

She lamented losing several of her friends on the arduous journey. “Georgina fell through a hidden trap door filled with spikes, that just sucks you know. All the rickety bridges and mysterious gatekeepers asking you riddles. I should have just gone to 121.”

In background research for this article, one Salient reporter attempted to find advice on making it into the promised kingdom of the Siglo balcony, however failed to make it past the first trial which was being sober enough to make it into the bar.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

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