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May 28, 2018 | by  | in *News* | [ssba]

“Drain the Swamp!” No Seriously Donald, People are Falling In

18 months after being elected on a campaign that vowed to “drain the swamp”, US President Donald Trump appears to have faltered on this promise as a sinkhole forms on the front lawn of the White House.

The sinkhole first appeared on Sunday 20 May, and appears to be growing significantly.

A spokesman for The National Park Service — who are monitoring the sinkhole — told Salient “It appears that by filling his cabinet with his billionaire cronies, interfering with the Russia investigation, and pandering to Republican lobbyists, President Trump has in fact enlarged the swamp”.

When asked about the sinkhole on his front lawn, President Trump responded in a series of tweets. He first dismissed the sinkhole hole as fake news.

“Just read a story on Fake News CNN about a hole in my lawn. Wrong! My golf courses have the best lawns in the country. Nobody has better lawns than me. I understand lawns better than anybody.”

When the President was notified they were referring to the White House lawn, he took to Twitter once more: “I have not been to the White House since my inauguration, as I prefer Mar-a-Lago. I’m told the “sinkhole” is in fact illegals trying to dig through to our country and take American jobs. Sad!”

It appears that the sinkhole will be unable to fixed for a significant period of time, as Trump fired the head gardener after it was revealed they also tended to the FBI gardens where the Russia investigation was taking place.

Mr Trump condemned the gardener in a final tweet.

“Lazy John the gardener, the worst gardener in history, was fired for incompetence. Not for helping the FBI Witch Hunt. In which, by the way, there was NO COLLUSION.”

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*


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