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July 9, 2019 | by  | in Dream Diagnosis | [ssba]

This is no place for a baby


DREAMER: In my first dream, I was enjoying a peaceful slumber in my bedroom (I live in a hall) when all of a sudden, I heard a baby crying. I leapt out of bed and went towards the sound. It turned out this little baby was in another bedroom on my floor where a raucous party was occurring—she was the daughter of one of the drunk girls in the room. I threw open the door and shouted out, “This is no place for a baby!” then took the baby and all its paraphernalia (nappies, milk formula, etc.). I got the mother’s phone number so she could collect the child when she was sober again. Fast forward a few days later, I called the number and found out it was fake. Concerned that I was looking after someone else’s child, I went to the police to explain the situation, however they charged me with kidnapping! 

In my next dream a few nights later, a relative of mine died, leaving me to look after his little toddler. Most recently—and most strangely—I had a dream within a dream. In my dream, I was asleep and dreaming. In my in-dream dream I got mugged by these two guys. However, at the last minute, the police turned up and arrested them. When I went to the station to give a statement, I covered for them, saying I knew them and was merely giving them my wallet. I then paid $1000 for their bail. Then I woke up. The next day (remember I’m still dreaming this), the mugging actually happened exactly as I had previously dreamed it. 


DIAGNOSIS: Dear dreamer,  

You’ve provided us here at the dream-interpretation office with a potent cocktail of dreams within dreams. These external responsibilities—other people’s children, other people’s identities—tie in with your own preoccupations and I wonder—have you properly pondered who you were really yelling at when you yelled, “This is no place for a baby?”  

Let’s unpack it a little more. 

Why did it take you a few days to call the fake number? Were you worried the mother’s hangover was a bad one? Did you enjoy the thrill? Christ, you can’t blame the police for charging you with kidnapping. 

If we look to the dreams as levels, building, heading somewhere in particular, then it makes sense that in your second dream you were given the child by respectable—if slightly morbid—channels. You were, at least at first, yearning for this responsibility, whatever it symbolises, and making tracks to get it in an acceptable manner. This ties in. But the third dream takes us to an entirely new plane. If we forget your terrible attempt at mimicking Inception and focus on the fact you willingly go to the police, cover for the thugs, pay their bail, then actually get mugged—your subconscious is trying to hammer you on the head with a vital life lesson. “Listen,” it’s saying, “put the baby in a material bag and dump it in the river.” You can’t cover for the schmucks on your floor; if that girl shat all over the walls after a massive night then sure, try your best to wipe it up before the RA gets there, but it’s not your burden. Stop trying to pay your way out of it.

Two of your dreams end abruptly when the police are done with you. The meaning of this is obvious: You’re gagging for someone to relieve you of the responsibility or secret you’re carrying. Is it murder? A friend cheating on a friend? The moral of this story is: you’re absolutely right. This is no place for a baby. And if you leave this baby unchecked, it’ll grow up to be Damien with 666 etched onto his skull, hidden only by devilish thick black hair. So I suggest you either un-enroll and move back to whatever little town spat you out, or hurry up and speak to the authorities, to whomever—just make sure you tell them the truth.  




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