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AuthorRebecca Proctor

Author Archive: Rebecca Proctor

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August 17, 2009

Ice cream makes my mouth feel funny. It does this because it’s really cold. Some people with sensitive teeth find that ice cream is too cold, and that is sad for them, because ice cream tastes pretty good. This is cross-cultural, for some reason! That everyone likes ice cream, I mean. Which is weird, because, […]

August 10, 2009

Well, let me tell you. Wellington was the idea of director of the New Zealand Company and big ol’ racist Edward Gibbon Wakefield. It was designed to be the perfect planned city (complete with a cemetery in each corner). It was completely boring, like Christchurch. The problem was that Wakefield had not actually been to […]

August 3, 2009

Casual sex is the mark of a declining civilisation, slipping into immorality. Every civilisation on Earth has independently developed their own interpretation of the institution of marriage, and to run against that is unnatural and inhumane. Men and women need solid, dependable relationships with each other in order to restrain their otherwise sensual natures. It […]

May 18, 2009

This shit is creepy. There is information, and it magically appears in your computer. There are no wires. There are no connections at all. It’s like the information moves through the air itself. Which is what happens, of course. But that’s creepy. It’s even creepier that it doesn’t just move through air, it can move […]

October 6, 2008

Seriously. It’s kind of shit. I mean, yeah, you know. It’s funny and all. Sometimes. Not that often really. In fact… I mean shit, we don’t even have Top 5 consistently any more. It’s pretty poo. Also, it’s pretty friggin’ self-important. Everyone is all “Ooh, look at me, I’m Salient. Student media matters for something.” […]

September 29, 2008

Dude, what’s with food? Many times, I have debated with my friends whether all food is gross, or just some. Most people are prepared to concede meat is gross, because noone really wants to think about eating a big mooing cow; it’s a whole lot easier just to think of it as steak.

September 22, 2008

It’s not really all movie food that’s weird: Tangy Fruits (which along with Snifters are about to be discontinued by the way. Sucks for you) are totally sensible. But two particular kinds are weird. Popcorn and candyfloss.

August 11, 2008

Bikes are pretty cool things. They allow you to get from one place to another faster than you could by walking! This is cool. And they are all green and friendly and all that. Plus, they are pretty fun to ride. All of this adds up to bikes: positive.

July 14, 2008

Planes. Similar to rain, they are heavier than air. Unlike rain, they are MUCH heavier than air. Like seriously. Planes weigh thousands of tonnes or something. And they move through the air. Thousands of feet above our heads. Hmm.

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