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June 3, 2019

  ARIES: Your friends are there to support, not serve you. Learn to listen better. There are people in your sexual history who will make better friends than you’d expect. Make friends with people who look nothing like you. Pay more attention to the values of others.   TAURUS: Make sure not to limit your […]

April 9, 2018

ARIES New beginnings are coming, and the world is ready to see your point of view. You’ll be feeling independent and energetic on Tuesday — focusing your productivity on knowledge and academic pursuits will be fruitful. Mercury is in retrograde, if your gut tells you not to pick up the phone, don’t. Wear pink, kiss people […]

March 5, 2018

ARIES Expect to feel a little restless and unfulfilled this week, but the waning moon makes now a good time to tie loose ends and finish anything you’re unsure of, such as relationships or creative projects. Trust your instincts and pay attention to your dreams. Wear green and blue to help tap into your subconscious […]

October 9, 2017

We would like to take this opportunity to thank our readers for trusting us with their lives and futures. Our final horoscopes offer advice for you star babies to embrace as you travel through the rest of your time on beautiful planet Earth. Maybe not much longer… @DPRK @DonaldTrump — Aubergine and Celeste   Libra […]

September 25, 2017

Celeste is MIA this week, because Aubergine forgot to tell them that horoscopes are due, so Aubergine has to speed write these under the light of the #moon and #stars. Readers can enjoy their life in this new left wing government (#psychic) by finding out what their star sign’s summer bevvo is. — Aubergine   […]

August 14, 2017

We hope our readers are absolutely hooning all the Astrological energy that Leo is offering this month, and taking time to think about how they will best exercise their democratic right to vote in the upcoming September 23 election. — Aubergine and Celeste Leo: Jul 23–Aug 22 You are on the astrological equivalent of pingers […]

July 31, 2017

We hope that our beautiful friends are feeling ready for a August full of turbulent Planetary motions. — Aubergine and Celeste   Leo: Jul 23–Aug 22 *rawr* Leos are full of animal instincts this week, as you feel invigorated by a collection of planetary movements. Love will be found in financial institutions so be sure […]

July 17, 2017

We hope you are feeling emotionally healed after the full moon on July 9, a nice university break, and the release of Lorde’s Melodrama. — Aubergine and Celeste   Cancer: Jun 21–Jul 22 Retrograde planets are absolutely ruining your emotional stability, which isn’t good at the best of times anyway. It is a time to […]

May 29, 2017

Buckle up astrological children, it’s Gemini Season! Gemini is the first air element of the zodiac, so prepare for some crazy energy. Under the influence of a Gemini planetary cycle, we’ll all be inclined to spend time with friends and focus on changing the world one idea at a time. Or something.   Gemini: May […]

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