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Weird Internet Shit

October 5, 2014

There is nothing like a weekday sunrise in the middle of summer. Everywhere is empty but lit, like an apocalypse but with street-cleaners. In the summer between 2006 and 2007, we used to lie in the middle of Ghuznee St for minutes at a time, cracking shitty jokes about our obituaries and hearing our laughter echo. Then we would go home and sleep. We had been playing video games all night.

September 28, 2014

Let’s talk about those hacks that happened last month. For those of you not clued in, a bunch of salacious photos of celebrities were disseminated by users of 4chan and reddit, having been taken illegally from their owner’s iCloud previously.

September 21, 2014

I am standing on a street staring at the screen that tells me I have missed my bus. I am staring at the street on the screen and trying to work out which number I am near. I am staring at the screen and it is showing me a car drive slowly towards me, a smiling face and licence-plate number just below. I am staring at the screen and rating the driver out of five.

September 14, 2014

Oh water, the most humble and most important beverage. We need it to survive. We should imbibe six-to-eight glasses daily to achieve optimal health…

September 7, 2014

Alone, online, and not typing, one forgets to be a discrete person. With four tabs of something fascinating and every biological need sated, the idea of a ‘continuing personality’ seems laughable – all you are is interested.

August 18, 2014

‘Museum of Endangered Sounds’. This website was launched in early 2012 with a mission to “preserve the sounds made famous by my favourite old technologies and electronics equipment”.

August 10, 2014

Way way back, in those halcyon pre-Recession days when the internet was still novel and a sense of economic dread didn’t pervade your every waking moment, YouTube introduced its first time limit.

July 20, 2014

Somewhere in North America, ‘olivia taters’ is composing a tweet.
“saudi arabia are basically the same”.

July 13, 2014

I don’t think it’s contentious to say that bodies, and specifically orifices, are wonderful – but fucking weird.

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